Day 2 of Morning Meditations:

“Well, where exactly do you want to be….  What exactly do you actually want to do?”

I am parked away from the house here in South Salem.  I call her my stepmom, but they never married.  My dad died in a care facility in town a couple years ago, and she and her dog are all that keeps the place going pretty much.  13 acres on a north facing property in the Willamette Valley creates an almost constant maintenance routine of the wild green and manicured salvations.  These two polar opposites battle for every inch of soil.  Regardless, the property has always been a sanctuary for me.  I moved here off and on since I was 11.  She designed and built the house back in the 70’s, and as they say, “build a house, lose a spouse.”.  And so entered my father, and eventually after a couple years with my mom in Orange County; me.

So here I am, inside Grady on a damp morning with road noise as my alarm.  I could sleep in the house, but prefer my norm.  She is now debilitated enough to require the downstairs room, my old room.  When I arrived yesterday she was sitting unevenly on the couch without her pants on.  I was glad I was there to help.  Parkinsons is a cursed thing.  The disease is hitting quick and my step siblings are not exactly in a ‘plan’ mode.  No fault to the both of them, because she as the ruling decision maker has no plan on leaving. 

I usually show up once or twice a year to work on the property and whatever else she may need.  This trip I am rebuilding the frog pond and fixing a low spot and also getting the water to feed through the pump properly so it will once again cascade down from the upper pond like we originally designed in… back in ‘95.  

This kind of work is like meditation for me.  The surrounding birds, the frogs and salamanders.  Its an oasis for the most part.  Today, I will work on breathing exercises…